So, I’ve been pretty pre-occupied lately and all my pastime and vocations like blogging and things, have suffered minor setbacks as I pretty much put ’em on the back burner, to allow for me to give my undivided attention to other pressing matters on the homefront!
I was chillin’ in my crib awhile back when my phone buzzed! I set ’bout opening up my Blackberry window and saw a broadcast sent in by my childhood friend and BFF, Elmo! My interest was piqued as I read through the message informing me of a two-day Pre-Christmas Sales Fair she had planned up for the 29th and 30th of November! She wanted to know if I was game and will be hopping on the bandwagon! I answered her in the affirmative while also deciding to pass the night over at her crib, to afford both our daughters the opportunity to do a sleepover and play catch up since it’d been awhile we all hung out together!
Plans were underway, I got all dressed and decked up in this pretty fabulous halter-necked maxi number sweeping the floor, with a decent exposure of my shoulders and arms! By noon of the 29th, my boo drops off our little angel and I at the venue of the event that promised to be super-duper, mega fun amidst a lotta fanfare! Without much ado, I located Elmo at our designated stand! I’d brought along some of my wares I planned disposing of and so, I quickly set about arranging and displaying ’em neatly on the racks, after hugging and exchanging pleasantries with Elmo and everyone else!
There were a host of vendors with an array of miscellaneous items up for sales, a Disc Jockey on the ‘ones and twos’ spinning the wheels of steel, and pretty much, the fair was agog with so much pomp and pageantry! Everything was coming together and we awaited the arrival of patrons and early holiday shoppers!
So, while arranging my wares, I felt a lil bit uncomfortable where I stood doing my thang! I figured I was being watched, cause I felt like a hole was being bore into my being! You know that feeling you get when a person gazes at you soo long and hard you practically begin to have hot flushes all over?! Yeah, that was it and it didn’t feel good! I mean, I looked good and all, but did I feel good?! Nah!
Taking the initiative, I decided to steal a glance at this ‘peeker’ and I found this guy, seated with the DJ! I called Elmo’s attention to him and she told me he’d been disturbing her long before I arrived, mumbling incoherently, something she really couldn’t make out! I suggested we engaged the DJ and have the stranger removed from the venue, so he doesn’t scare off potential customers! The DJ responded that the guy was not with him and his ‘tag alongs’! They didn’t report together for the gig he supplied, plus; its really not his place as DJ, and neither is it part of his job description to send anyone off of from the venue! ‘I’m no bouncer’, he retorted! I laughed at that bit the DJ said and really, who would blame the poor guy though, I mean; dude was looking all sinister with blood-shot eyes, clean appearance though, funny demeanor and well, he creeped the life outta me, out of us all!
Besides, we were basically females and kiddies teeming the venue; save for the Scare-Eddy Cat DJ and his minions! We thus decided to leave him be and prayed hard that he doesn’t do anything real stupid like pulling a weapon on us or something equally and menacingly crazy!
At a point, I just banished the thoughts of the scoundrel outta my mind and got into the groove of things, totally immersed in what I was doing, swaying and gyrating slowly to the beats blaring, amidst arranging and re-arranging my wares! Suddenly, I decided to take a time out and look the way of this mysterious guy and what I found was quite startling! The seat on which he’d hitherto sat was completely empty! He was nowhere to be found or so I thought till I heard a pretty frightening voice behind me! I turned around sharply to behold him face to face at such a close proximity! Oh boy, this is so not looking good, what now?!
At this point, I became really frantic and scared outta my wits! He opened up his mouth to address me and well, he reeked like he was the freakin’ brewery! The chap was wasted, high! I gave him a once over from top to bottom and then it dawned on me that this was no ordinary or ‘normal’ person you could get into a logical conversation with, a lotta wisdom was gonna be needed to wriggle outta this one! *sighs*
He mumbled something to me I didn’t quite catch or latch on to; but I just warded him off with a wave of my hands, not wanting to entertain or give him the time of day! The heavily-ladened, alcoholic-riddened breath wasn’t helping matters either! I thought I was gonna puke, if I didn’t get rid of him fast enough! I quickly turned my back on him with an ‘excuse me’ and continued with my business of tending to my wares and then it happened!
I heard a smack, smack sound and felt a sudden sloppiness and coolness upon my shoulders and arm! Puzzled, I turned around in his direction and dude was hungrily kissing away at my shoulders and arm! I was stunned speechless, in a total state of daze, shock and disbelief at his effrontery and audacity! He totally threw me off course and his actions literally blew me off like WHOA! I tried processing what was going down and I came up empty! Clueless! Plus, it happened really fast too that I didn’t stand a chance whatsoever of wrenching myself off of his smacks! When I came to, he had this self-satisfying look on his face; whilst slowly backing away from me grinning, blowing me kisses with his hands and saying aloud and coherent for the very first time ‘You’re fine’! Everyone who saw what just happened were befuddled, time froze and they all just stopped dead in their tracks, unmoving and taking in the whole scenario playing out in front of ’em to their amazement or should that be horror?! Plus, they were anticipating what would happen next!
I watched him go in a daze! He lingered for a bit at the DJ’s pavilion and just like what legends are made of, this mysterious guy practically just disappeared in much the same way as he appeared and no one saw him again after that strange episode with me playing lead role and character, alongside him so effortlessly to; I should add! I mean; together, we gave such a stellar, award-winning performance! Ugh!
Something however happened after all that drama and it pretty much got me wondering if it had anything to do with the unsolicited kiss I received from this guy from the other side of the track! Call me superstitious and or delusional, but I think in a way, that dude was my good luck charm! You see, right afterwards, patrons thronged into our shed and patronized us like crazy and sales picked up dramatically and in a most unusual, uncanny way!
Moreso, folks took an instant liking to me, buying my stuffs amidst several hugs and kind words! Everyone around me marveled and asked what it was ’bout me that made folks just flock around me and I told ’em they should maybe try and go get smacked and smothered with sloppy kisses on their arms and shoulders by a drunken, stoned and wasted fella, with blood-shot eyes and incoherent speech! That works like magic, I’m living proof after all like duh!
I just couldn’t help reminiscing a piece I’d read on the adorable Chisom Ojukwu’s ‘Words are Work’ blogsite, a little less than a week before this incidence! A pretty moving tale of love, compassion and the milk of human kindness bordering on a guy from the other side of the track and an undergraduate lady with handsome finesse and decorum, who in a spur of the moment; planted a quick one on the cheeks of this unsuspecting guy who’d rendered her a favor after much pleas and appeal! She gives him a peck on disembarking at her stop and made a quick getaway that he didn’t get the chance to react, till the bus got a move on and then he broke down in tears, crying and saying to himself that he would never measure up to finding such an authoritative figure-form of a lady, educated, pristine and classy; since he was a drop-out and ‘no-gooder’! His passengers did all to pacify him but he just cried! Uw!
I read that bit and it tugged at my heartstrings! Somehow, this seems to be like a reversal of roles of that tale! You know, like the tables were turned and this time around, the guy on the other side of the track was the one at the receiving end, calling the shots! Spooky or not!
The day ended on a very happy note! I made me some cool bucks, made new acquaintances; forged new relationships, hung out with my BFF and well, had a rollercoaster fun ride on the wild side! I mean, what would you call getting smothered by some stranger on a mission to just smack away at another stranger at a Sales Fair?!
A big thanks to you Smacker! You’re my angel and good luck charm and If ever you get to read this, know ye this……I gat only mad love for thou and don’t you ever forget! God bless and keep ya! Mwah, right back at cha; didn’t get a chance to return the favor, even though on the second day of the fair; I was practically looking over my shoulders to see if you were anywhere close by, hovering menacingly and gingering up for perhaps a re-enactment or NOT?! But hey! Better late than never init?! You bet! *winks*
All images courtesy of http://www.google.com