Was It Something ’bout That Kiss Then?! Hmm……

So, I’ve been pretty pre-occupied lately and all my pastime and vocations like blogging and things, have suffered minor setbacks as I pretty much put ’em on the back burner, to allow for me to give my undivided attention to other pressing matters on the homefront!

I was chillin’ in my crib awhile back when my phone buzzed! I set ’bout opening up my Blackberry window and saw a broadcast sent in by my childhood friend and BFF, Elmo! My interest was piqued as I read through the message informing me of a two-day Pre-Christmas Sales Fair she had planned up for the 29th and 30th of November! She wanted to know if I was game and will be hopping on the bandwagon! I answered her in the affirmative while also deciding to pass the night over at her crib, to afford both our daughters the opportunity to do a sleepover and play catch up since it’d been awhile we all hung out together!

 Plans were underway, I got all dressed and decked up in this pretty fabulous halter-necked maxi number sweeping the floor, with a decent exposure of my shoulders and arms!  By noon of the 29th, my boo drops off our little angel and I at the venue of the event that promised to be super-duper, mega fun amidst a lotta fanfare! Without much ado, I located Elmo at our designated stand! I’d brought along some of my wares I planned disposing of and so, I quickly set about arranging and displaying ’em neatly on the racks, after hugging and exchanging  pleasantries with Elmo and everyone else!

There were a host of vendors with an array of miscellaneous items up for sales, a Disc Jockey on the ‘ones and twos’ spinning the wheels of steel, and pretty much, the fair was agog with so much pomp and pageantry! Everything was coming together and we awaited the arrival of patrons and early holiday shoppers!


So, while arranging my wares, I felt a lil bit uncomfortable where I stood doing my thang! I figured I was being watched, cause I felt like a hole was being bore into my being! You know that feeling you get when a person gazes at you soo long and hard you practically begin to have hot flushes all over?! Yeah, that was it and it didn’t feel good! I mean, I looked good and all, but did I feel good?! Nah!

Taking the initiative, I decided to steal a glance at this ‘peeker’ and I found this guy, seated with the DJ! I called Elmo’s attention to him and she told me he’d been disturbing her long before I arrived, mumbling incoherently, something she really couldn’t make out! I suggested we engaged the DJ and have the stranger removed from the venue, so he doesn’t scare off potential customers! The DJ responded that the guy was not with him and his ‘tag alongs’! They didn’t report together for the gig he supplied, plus; its really not his place as DJ, and neither is it part of his job description to send anyone off of from the venue! ‘I’m no bouncer’, he retorted! I laughed at that bit the DJ said and really, who would  blame the poor guy though, I mean; dude was looking all sinister with blood-shot eyes, clean appearance though, funny demeanor and well, he creeped the life outta me, out of us all!

Besides, we were basically females and kiddies teeming the venue; save for the Scare-Eddy Cat DJ and his minions! We thus decided to leave him be and prayed hard that he doesn’t do anything real stupid like pulling a weapon on us or something equally and menacingly crazy!

 At a point, I just banished the thoughts of the scoundrel outta my mind and got into the groove of things, totally immersed in what I was doing, swaying and gyrating slowly to the beats blaring,  amidst arranging and re-arranging my wares! Suddenly, I decided to take a time out and look the way of this mysterious guy and what I found was quite startling! The seat on which he’d hitherto sat was completely empty! He was nowhere to be found or so I thought till I heard a pretty frightening voice behind me! I turned around sharply to behold him face to face at such a close proximity! Oh boy, this is so not looking good, what now?!

At this point, I became really frantic and scared outta my wits! He opened up his mouth to address me and well, he reeked like he was the freakin’ brewery! The chap was wasted, high! I gave him a once over from top to bottom and then it dawned on me that this was no ordinary or ‘normal’ person you could get into a logical conversation with, a lotta wisdom was gonna be needed to wriggle outta this one! *sighs*

He mumbled something to me I didn’t quite catch or latch on to; but I just warded him off with a wave of my hands, not wanting to entertain or give him the time of day! The heavily-ladened, alcoholic-riddened breath wasn’t helping matters either! I thought I was gonna puke, if I didn’t get rid of him fast enough! I quickly turned my back on him with an ‘excuse me’ and continued with my business of tending to my wares and then it happened!

 I heard a smack, smack sound and felt a sudden sloppiness and coolness upon my shoulders and arm! Puzzled, I turned around in his direction and dude was hungrily kissing away at my shoulders and arm! I was stunned speechless, in a total state of daze, shock and disbelief at his effrontery and audacity! He totally threw me off course and his actions literally blew me off like WHOA!  I tried processing what was going down and I came up empty! Clueless! Plus, it happened really fast too that I didn’t stand a chance whatsoever of wrenching myself off of his smacks! When I came to, he had this self-satisfying look on his face; whilst slowly backing away from me grinning, blowing me kisses with his hands and saying aloud and coherent for the very first time ‘You’re fine’! Everyone who saw what just happened were befuddled, time froze and they all just stopped dead in their tracks, unmoving and taking in the whole scenario playing out in front of ’em to their amazement or should that be horror?! Plus, they were anticipating what would happen next!

I watched him go in a daze! He lingered for a bit at the DJ’s pavilion and just like what legends are made of, this mysterious guy practically just disappeared in much the same way as he appeared and no one saw him again after that strange episode with me playing lead role and character, alongside him so effortlessly to; I should add! I mean; together, we gave such a stellar, award-winning performance! Ugh!

Something however happened after all that drama and it pretty much got me wondering if it had anything to do with the unsolicited kiss I received from this guy from the other side of the track! Call me superstitious and or delusional, but I think in a way, that dude was my good luck charm! You see, right afterwards, patrons thronged into our shed and patronized us like crazy and sales picked up dramatically and in a most unusual, uncanny way!


Moreso, folks took an instant liking to me, buying my stuffs amidst several hugs and kind words! Everyone around me marveled and asked what it was ’bout me that made folks just flock around me and I told ’em they should maybe try and go get smacked and smothered with sloppy kisses on their arms and shoulders by a drunken, stoned and wasted fella, with blood-shot eyes and incoherent speech! That works like magic, I’m living proof after all like duh!

I just couldn’t help reminiscing a piece I’d read on the adorable Chisom Ojukwu’s ‘Words are Work’ blogsite, a little less than a week before this incidence! A pretty moving tale of love, compassion and the milk of human kindness bordering on a guy from the other side of the track and an undergraduate lady with handsome finesse and decorum, who in a spur of the moment; planted a quick one on the cheeks of this unsuspecting guy who’d rendered her a favor after much pleas and appeal! She gives him a peck on disembarking at her stop and made a quick getaway that he didn’t get the chance to react, till the bus got a move on and then he broke down in tears, crying and saying to himself that he would never measure up to finding such an authoritative figure-form of a lady, educated, pristine and classy; since he was a drop-out and ‘no-gooder’! His passengers did all to pacify him but he just cried! Uw!

I read that bit and it tugged at my heartstrings! Somehow, this seems to be like a reversal of roles of that tale! You know, like the tables were turned and this time around, the guy on the other side of the track was the one at the receiving end, calling the shots! Spooky or not!

The day ended on a very happy note! I made me some cool bucks, made new acquaintances; forged new relationships, hung out with my BFF and well, had a rollercoaster fun ride on the wild side! I mean, what would you call getting smothered by some stranger on a mission to just smack away at another stranger at a Sales Fair?!

A big thanks to you Smacker! You’re my angel and good luck charm and If ever you get to read this, know ye this……I gat only mad love for thou and don’t you ever forget! God bless and keep ya! Mwah, right back at cha; didn’t get a chance to return the favor, even though on the second day of the fair; I was practically looking over my shoulders to see if you were anywhere close by, hovering menacingly and gingering up for perhaps a re-enactment or NOT?! But hey! Better late than never init?! You bet! *winks*

All images courtesy of http://www.google.com




53 thoughts on “Was It Something ’bout That Kiss Then?! Hmm……

    • Thank you so much Swag! Totally done in you found this absolutely hilarious! I had as much fun penning it too, and laughed twice as hard! Thanks for being here, always! You more than rock pieces! Mwah! LMAO!


  1. You do don’t you now, Mims?! Hehehe! And to think I stormed your page tonight, with intents to lap up and binge whilst playing catch up on all the goodies I’ve hitherto missed out on for eons, only to find thou here?! I guess am still reeling from ma good luck charms, I mean how else could I possibly explain away your glorious presence on this plain ei?! *rme* LOL

    Thanks for swinging by babycakes, you rock so hard! *winks*


  2. Lol! Oh well, I’m still expecting that binge, just so you know! Catch up! Catch up! Thou hast missed a whole lot. And erm…how long does this good luck charm last? since when did my presence turn glorious? No, you rock Yemz.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LMAO! You’ve always rocked forever dearest and thou knowest it! *winks*

    I know, I know; I’ve missed so much! But get ready, cause by the time am done with you Mims, you’d be asking for me to just disappear already! Too much of moi is dangerous, but am on it! Just sit tight while I do my thang! *tongue out* ROTFL

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahahaha! Some overdose that would be Mimi, like really! You’re such a delight darl, absolutely and thanks for the ‘awesomeness’, God knows I desperately, totally needed that! Am I so transparent though?! *rolling my eyes for days* MWAH! LMAO!

      Liked by 1 person

    • *tear* Aw! You’re gonna make me cry now babycakes! Thank you so much for your kind words and for looking in too dearest! You actually did find me first and when I sneaked a peek in on your site, I was entranced as your beautifully composed poems reminded me of someone very dear to my heart! He it is that’s the brain behind this beautiful site you call lovely! He also composes masterpieces like you, and pretty much dabbles into ‘Haiku’ challenges every once in a while! His WordPress ID is http://www.zaphnathpaaaneah.com You can check him out if it isn’t a bother and I guarantee, you’d find in him a kindred spirit my darling! *big smile*

      Do have you a great day Jellybeans, God bless and keep you also! Love you tons! Mwah! *bear and bunny hugs* LOL

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh lookie lookie! Its the Humour Merchant himself making a real dramatic, extremely dope entry! Me likey vewi much! *tongue out* LOL

      Kingsley dearie, I’ll have you know that ‘harassment’ fetched me a few bucks and I also made tons of friends too, and NO; I don’t have his number! What’s it to you anyhow?! Pray tell! You also wanna get smothered and doused in kisses by him ei?! Be careful what you wish for this magical season babycakes, a fairy might just be fluttering and spluttering very close by; you know, just waiting on hand to make thy dreams come true! *Yinmu* LMAO!

      Thanks for swinging by darl, am totally bowled over! Mwah! Lol


  4. some drunken guy be kissing you and you be reveling in the kiss…hiding under words like ‘angel’ or ‘good luck charm’. kai! and having the audacity to blow him kisses on a public platform?! what?!!
    I hope he gets to read this…and track you down…and then you can re-ignite your passion…and run off into the sunset…and then you can give us some of the salacious gist…

    Liked by 2 people

    • I am sooo bent over double right now in complete, absolute and am talking TOTAL hysterics, laughing my freakin’ brain cells right out! You’ve really gotta be friggin’ kiddin’ me Gloomie or NOT! Woulda been tipped over and completely thrown off balance if you hadn’t shared these exact thoughts! Needless to say, no surprises there at all! I kinda knew you’d pull this stunts, you Silly Nilly! *smh* LMAO

      Plus, whether or not you wanna believe it, that dude was mine good luck charm, a Pixie, a Fairy and an Angel! While you see ‘6’, I behold ‘9’! That’s the world of difference between us two so put a suck in it Doc, and quit gloating already! Its so ‘unpretty’! Hmph! LOL

      Thanks sooo much for coming right along sweets, you’re awesomeness through and all through! Mwah! LOL

      Liked by 1 person

      • oh yeah…hide under that, color it with colors, paint it with brilliant colors, and the grime takes up a another form…we all know that underneath it all, at its core, it is still grime….yuck!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hmm….will y’all just see him go! All poetic and things! Quit showing off Doc, we all know how extremely brilliant a writer cum Poet thou art, you really needn’t rub it in?! Your awesome works speak for ’emselves, so give it a rest will ya?! *tongue out* LOL

    And as I’m wont to saying, we only see what our eyes wanna, that’s what you see! Lay off of me Doc, and beat it already! S-C-A-T! *rme* LMAO!


  6. I found this one both creepy and really funny and then Topazo’s comment threw me off balance, I laughed as hysterically as it made you laugh Yemie. But I trust you, any day any time, you’re always “at home” so you answered him right back. I just love the duo of you both and it would be nice to see you both act a comedy, seriously. I know it would sell like craaazy! More grease to your elbows girl. You really are a master at words and wording.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Aw Honeycomb, I’m doubly humbled, I am! By your kind words! And like the Mischief Maker Topazo would say; I hope I don’t get diagnosed with a mighty critical case of diabetes from your sweetness! *rme* LOL

    Creepy huh?! That’s so spot on Sweet Zee! I was outta my wits too! The horror! *laughing*

    I’m sure if Topazo and I were to do a duet together, as far as comedy skit’s concerned; we’d pull each other’s hair out first, before we’re done going through all the lines we oughta render! Some comedic act that would be! Dude’s a cesspool of ‘incorrigibility and ‘impossibility! Delightsome anyhow! *smh* LMAO!

    Thanks a plenty for coming by pumpkin, its always mine extreme pleasure having you here, I’m very grateful dear! God bless and keep you and your household! Soar on up Zee, you’re such a delightful doll! *hugs n kisses* LOL


  8. Beautifully funny piece . Very descriptive👍… I travelled to the scene in my mind… Hehehe
    Did this really happen?
    I bet not😜

    By the way, why don’t I get notification for your post? You got me wondering what’s up with straight from the heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You naughty you! You bet not ei?! I’ll bet! *winks* LOL

      This really did happen babycakes, and I was stunned speechless myself at that guy’s antics and raw nerve! What cheek! *rme* LMAO!

      On the brighter side though, I got to make a delightful little post outta it and get to be serenaded and bedazzled by thou! That’s a huge deal, CAPITAL; and I wanna say a big thanks to you for your kind words! God bless your heart sweets! *hugs*

      PS: That notification ‘ish’ ehn, I just dunno! Honeycomb Zee complained ’bout the same thing! I’ll look into it, please do bear with me! I’m pretty much still a rookie, trying desperately hard to get the hang of things but I’ll get there; slowly, steady definitely surely; with thy support! Thanks for pointing out that bit, am sooo on it! LOL

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh look who just waltzed in! Its ma Jellybeans, Sammie Sincere Heart! *rolling my eyes for days on end* LMAO!

      Why Sammie, its sooo friggin’ good to have you on here, after our dalliances on Vee’s blog post yesterday…that was a banger and you, phenomenal! *laughing*

      Thank you so much for swinging by, I owe you big time and I shall come by thy blog and we can goof off some more, if your sincerely but frail heart can handle it! Can you now?! *raised eyebrow* LOL

      Love you tons dearie, be with you soonest, plus, you do rock…..PIECES! Mwah! ROTFL

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Hey Busy Bee! Its awesomeness seeing you here! You finally did get a breather ei?! Good for ya! Missed you tons! Welcome back to the game Sire! Can you tell just how excited I am already?! Thanks for looking in babycakes! LOL

    Hmmm…I did think ’bout that impulsive slap thingy though but dude was on a mission and damn was he quick! He was darn too fast and my reaction time stood absolutely no chance! Plus, I wasn’t ready to be served a ‘great and unhealthy’ dose of unwanted brutal blows that’d leave me scarred! Nuh-uh! The law of motion in Physics that action and reaction are equal and the same flashed across my mind; except that well, his slap will be anything but! I’d be dealt blows! See what I mean?! Wisdom’s profitable to direct, God’s Word! Whenever I do get round to perfecting ma martial skills, I’d revisit the possibility of perhaps hunting and hounding him down from whatever hole he’s plunged into! Then only can I take my own pound of flesh! My word! *Yinmu* LMAO!


    • Hahahahaha! Thinking ’bout it now, ‘Kiss for Sale’ woulda been such an apt title by golly! LOL

      You wanna send your addy, do you?! What are you now the Kiss Peddler?! You’ve very easily gone from Santa Claus to the Kiss Peddler! Owkay! The visual am getting’s kinda distorted but, you’re definitely ma hero! *rme* LMAO!

      This really did go down Su’eddie! You find it very hard to believe do you?! It took a while too for me to recover from the mere shock! *laughing*

      Thank you sooo much for looking in Su’eddie and making my Christmas Day Celebration a notch more exciting! I owe you one, and I shall ‘retaliate’, by jove! LOL

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hehehehe! Don’t I know it Su’eddie! Funny that you should say that but I’d be sure to hearken to thy wise words and take that visual for what it truly is: An illusion! Chee! Thanks for pointing that out buddy, you’re such a lifesaver! *phew* LMAO!


      • I like the way your posts are chatty. I went through them a bit and yes, they made for some fun read. Nice to see that your life is really like that… At some point, you might want to even put most of these together to form a book of sorts. With good editing, you would have something cool. If you have a really cool life like this, you shouldn’t let it just be…there.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Damn! You’re such a crusader for written works of Literature aren’t you Su’eddie?! I mean, urging folks on to publish books and novels! That’s pretty commendable and isn’t all of our lives a story though?! Even for fiction authors, art imitates truelife and inspires it too! So, in a way; our lives’ stories serve as muses for our creativity! What I do is to focus on the sunny side of, however grisly my misadventures, cos I’ve mine fair share of those but I look back, and just laugh through it all! So, when I found myself thrusted on to these plains, I decided I’d try as much as I possibly can; to relive some memories I’ve had in the last coupla years! That’s why the posts are kinda chatty and mighty informal! Am all for fun and laughs; those keep me going! LOL

    Thank you so much, its really great making your acquaintance, and for every suggestion you’ve put forward; I am seriously taking into consideration! I’m deeply humbled Su’eddie, yes I am! *hugs* LOL


  11. Yeah sure Phantom, sure! You know, sometimes; all a ‘dudette’ wants is a little love and by that; you oughta know what I mean, no?! I’m talking ’bout that lil incidence when you got ‘grabbed’ remember?! Well then, we’re even so I’ll play it cool with you! No hard feelings, all’s forgiven! *rme* LMAO!

    Thanks for looking in buddy, I ‘ppreciate lotz! You rock too much! LOL


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