Last night, I saw this flick where an entire neighborhood was besieged by the men of the underworld! They quite succeeded in robbing everyone else blind save for one family! This family was peculiar in that they had a very hi-tech security system of gadgets, gizmos, and stuffs in place! You know, like bullet-proof doors and all what not! So, it was a herculean task for these bad guys to gain access into their residence!
After trying for long and so hard, the leader of the bandit turned negotiator, and tried to get the family man, the head of the house to grant ’em access, promising that they’d be safe from harm! ‘All we want is your money, ATM cards complete with passwords, car keys and jewelleries’, he barked!
The head of this peculiar family though is a real shrewd guy! When the words stingy and ‘tight-fisted’ were coined, they totally had him in mind! He would never part with even a nickel, on a good day! The leader of the bandit got really frustrated, to the point of threatening to kill off his neighbor, when he pulled his weapon on him; but this guy was unshaken! He just wouldn’t budge! He’d earlier placed an emergency call to the cops, who had a lil bit of a challenge in coming to his rescue! Eventually, the cops showed up and the bad guys were rounded up!
This flick brought me some nostalgic memories! My brother had just secured an accommodation some years back! He was pretty satisfied with the conditions of the surroundings and in time, he settled comfortably in, savoring his erstwhile freedom! He occupied one of four apartments in that building, another was being occupied by his aged Landlord and the remaining two apartments had other tenants like him!
And so it was one fateful night, while all was quiet and all slept, they were rudely jerked awakened from their slumber by gunshot noises renting the air and an announcement that they were being held up! Everyone was scared shitless and there was a lotta confusion! Fraying nerves, and racing hearts, a frenzy at a fever pitch resulted on the heels of the realization that this was a siege!
In order to make things less terrifying than it already was, they co-operated with the robbers, handing all they asked of ’em, and just basically being at their beck and call! They were robbed silly, but didn’t sustain any bodily harm or injuries! Thank God for that!
When it came the time to go carry out an operation in the apartment occupied by the aged Landlord, they hit a brick wall! You see, everyone else co-operated with ’em, by willfully opening up their doors at their insistence! They barked orders at ’em, while threatening to blow off their brains; if they didn’t save ’em the arduous task of having to break into their apartments by themselves! So, naturally, these guys caved and opened up to them without incidence! All of that was ’bout to change when they made their ways to the aged Landlord’s apartment!
They banged on his door and the following dialogues ensued:
Robber: Open up this door right this minute, we know you’re in there!
Landlord:Why would I wanna do something so stupid?!
Robber: Baba, is this some kinda joke?!
Landlord: You tell me!
Robber: We don’t have time for this old man, open up this door right this minute and we wouldn’t have to hurt you!
Landlord: You’re robbers aren’t you?!
Robber: What sorta question’s that?! Isn’t that obvious?!
Landlord: Very well then, you’re gonna have to prove that to me!
Robber: Excuse me?!
Landlord: Since you’re robbers, you’ll have to force your way right in!
Robbers: No kidding?!
Landlord: No! Its taboo that I should have to open up my door to robbers, with my very own hands and have you rob me! You’re gonna have to find your ways in yourselves!
Robber: Alright then, start saying your last prayer, you stupid old man, for surely; today, you shall meet your Maker !
The bandits then set about in trying to gain a forced entry into the apartment and after a while they succeeded in their bid! The leader barged into the living room with the hope that they’d see and confront the mule who’d hitherto made ’em undergo such a grievous, very unnecessary task of breaking down the door but alas, he was nowhere to be found!
Their mission statement and vision changed once they gained entry into the aged Landlord’s apartment and rather than go about rummaging the house for valuables, they were on a mission to find the man and cause him some major bodily damage for daring to call ’em out the way he did! They searched every nook and cranny of the house and came up empty! Good thing his immediate family were all resident overseas, and he was more or less home alone! Unbeknownst to ’em, he was lodged in the ceiling of his living room, a specially provided space and safe-house of sorts, just watching as events were unfolding!
The bandits were so desperate in their attempt to find him that they totally turned the entire apartment upside down, in their frustration at coming up nought! Further attempts to keep on searching was foiled by the sounds of sirens blaring in the distance and they therefore had to retreat and make a fast get-away, before the cops clamped down on ’em!
After the dust finally settled Santa Claus aka Mr. Landlord emerged, climbing down from his chimney up in the ceiling! His tenants were shocked at his persistence and relentlessness. They had feared he’d been killed or badly beaten up because of the wall he’d put up! At the end of the day, the robbers didn’t have enough time to steal a single thing from his apartment, but they destroyed a few of his possessions, while trying to sniff him out of his hiding place!
The other incidence I remember took place at my cousin’s! DJ, that’s my pet name for him, was lounging in the living room with one of his nieces when suddenly, the sliding door glided open! On a cue, he looked in the direction of the opened door and beheld first a gun pointed in his direction, and then the scoundrel brandishing it!
As an aside, I gotta to tell y’all ’bout my coolest cousin DJ! He’s very athletic and plays sports! He’s really fast on his heels, a track and field champion, a sprinter, at State level as at when he was in High School! He also thrived in Chess board game and represented his state as well at national tournaments! So, now you know and may at least understand why he did what he did next, without as much as giving a thought to what consequences may arise in its wake!
DJ lunged at the intruder, tackled him and wrestled the gun outta his hands effortlessly! I’ll bet the guy was thrown off course as he practically didn’t see that coming! I mean, these kinds of scenarios are ones you see in movies! Who tackles a gun-totting intruder?! Yeah, DJ; I know! Need I be reminded?!
So, he disarms the guy; gives him a good beating; not knowing his goons were lurking close by! One by one, they made their ways into the living room, now totaling four in number plus the badly beaten one and then one of ’em spoke up! He first of all applauded DJ on this mean feat and asked if he thought he was James Bond, before pouncing on him and dealing him more than a few brutal blows! Ouch!
Afterwards, they locked him and his niece up in the loo and set to rummaging through the house for valuables! DJ, not one to take anything lying down, managed to break free from the bondage of being locked up, made his way out the building complex, scaled the fence and made straight for the police station to alert the men of the law! The station was just a stone-throw from the house, a walking distance!
About this time too, one of the bandit came back to DJ’s apartment to check if all was alright and to his horror, he found that DJ had skipped detention! You see, after they’d gotten all they wanted from DJ’s apartment, they’d taken their robbery operation to the other flats numbering three! He quickly made to alert his mates ’bout the ugly development and they had to suspend every other things pending and flee! By the time the cops arrived the scene, they were long gone!
I remember scolding DJ for his daredevilry and telling him N-E-V-E-R to pull that kinda stunts ever again! He was lucky not to have gotten shot and experienced a much fatal fate than just getting beat up! He just laughed and told me if they’d come to him unarmed, he’d have taken ’em all out, without as much as raising his littlest finger ! Typical DJ! A real piece of work!
There you have it folks! Please don’t you ever DARE to launch an attack on an armed person! You just never know if he’s in the ranks of the trigger happy lots; who kill at will without as much as giving two rats’ ass or even giving a damn ’bout whose horse is gored! My word! Peace out!
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