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Guess Who Rode Into Town In A Truck?!…..Why, Its Santa Claus!

This is a detailed account of an event I experienced a few years back while in College! I’d actually thought to put it up on my blog as a Special Christmas Edition, but seeing as the ‘Eternal Mischief Maker’ has sprung up a surprise on me, I’m left with none other option than to share it on this glorious platform that’s served as home, and still is; since happening upon it in the month of January, and that folks, feels like several lifetimes! How time doth flies! Phew!

Thank you so much  Dr Temitope Ogundare, who I especially love to call ‘Doc’, for this great opportunity of sharing the same stage and platform as and also with you! To say am totally overwhelmed is putting it real mildly and de-emphasizing it a lowly, lowly notch!

You’ve had such an enormous impact on my life and well, its been great knowing you! I would never have ventured into blogging but for you! I don’t consider myself a writer, pretty expressive; yes, but a writer, NAH! I’d rather like to think of myself as a ‘goofer’, I enjoy getting my silly on and just goofing off! I don’t aspire to publish any written materials in my life time and well, I really don’t take myself seriously!

Since meeting and associating with you however, I’ve learnt anew never to say never! I mean, who woulda thought I’d wind up a blogger, ‘goofer’, whatever?! Definitely and of a certainty not me! I totally have you to blame for that! Thanks again, the ‘goofer’ is mighty honored and by golly, I shan’t forget; I shall repay! God bless and keep you and yours babycakes, you more than rock pieces! Much love, hugs and kisses, and yeah; Happy Holidays to you and most especially, yours!

So, school was out and the holidays was upon us! It was the Yuletide season and everyone was pretty pumped up and getting ’bout set to let their hair down, put their feet up, and just unwind and dial down on all the work’s that’s gone forth over the past few months; seizing the days and getting into the groove of things! And well, I certainly was no exception!

Everyone was in a mad dash to get back home to their loved ones spread across various, different towns and cities! Not wanting to be caught up in the crosshairs of all the madness and hullabaloo going on around and about me, I decided to chill awhile in school, stall and allow for the early travelers to leave, before getting a move on myself! That was soon gonna prove to be the biggest mistake and by far the wrongest decision I’d ever have had to make!

You see, I schooled partly in Niger State, and in the town I was, there really wasn’t a direct bus back then enroute Lagos! You’d either have to travel to Minna township to get a direct bus, or stick it out where you are by commuting to another nearby town, say Ilorin for instance! From whence you’d then board a direct bus to Lagos! I didn’t wanna do Minna, I had too many luggage and it was not gonna be any fun just slinging those ’bout my shoulders! I decided to go the Ilorin route! As far as I was concerned, Ilorin township was a lot closer Lagos than Minna! Aint no friggin’ ways am I backtracking! Plus, I’m not really big on road trips and travel, totally NOT suckers for it! Yuck!

Having lingered at the park for awhile, with absolutely no promises of any buses whatsoever coming along, I’d struck friendship with two other female students and co-travelers, also Lagos bound like me! We therefore got talking; becoming fast friends! Along  came this beautiful truck! It looked mighty new, very clean and the trucker, was alright too from my standpoint! He was well spoken, a graduate who’d decided to work the trucks for a bit since he couldn’t find his dream job after a long search! His demeanor was calm, cool and collected! Dude was kinda fly and I wondered how he coulda settled for such a preoccupation!

Well, he offered he’d give us a free ride to Lagos and that was like a dream come true! I hesitated for a bit since I’d never had to hitch a ride with a complete stranger but my situation couldn’t be helped or so I berated myself into believing! You see, I needed to get home to my folks in time for Christmas! Plus, I figured; what’s the worst that could possibly go wrong! I was riding alongside my new found friends and amongst us three, if this dude as much as tried to make a false move, we’d take him out effortlessly without breaking a sweat! Like we’re tough like that, you simply don’t wanna step to us or test us! Hmph!

The journey got underway! We all got talking and I was seated closest to him on the passengers’ side of the seat! We made a brief stop at a nodal town to re-boot and get us something to wolf down on! This trucker dude was pretty generous, he practically picked up our tabs! And I be like ‘Santa Claus has surely come to my tropical town, riding solo and high up in a truck as opposed to the sleigh being drawn by the Reindeer! Ho! Ho!! Ho!!!’!

At that point, I was so thankful and elated he’d swung right by! For all I knew, I may have spent another night in that town! The good times were surely rolling by and hoo boy, was I having a ball! What is this the High Definition (HD) in not only 3D but several ‘D’s’ of coolness or what?! Oh yeah!

Hours after getting back on our journey, the trucker dude took a long look at me and said ‘So I take it you’re my girlfriend now and we’re dating’! Huh?! Okay, I absolutely didn’t see that coming and I thought to myself, ‘I’ve been kidded a lot, Oh surely he kids’!

When I said nothing, he asked if I’d heard what he’d just said and I responded in the affirmative, but told him he couldn’t possibly be serious! I mean, who does that?! He laughed cynically, and said he was darn serious! Still, I thought nothing of his jibes and I convinced myself he was probably just teasing and goofing around! What he did next would shake me to my very core!

He just stepped on the gas and assured us we were all gonna die  for shizzie, unless I said yes! He went on to ask me if I really thought he was ‘Father Christmas’ or something! After all; we were getting a free ride and what’s more, he’d picked up our tabs at the restaurant we stopped to dine! Its not like I couldn’t pick up my own tab or pay my way through, he offered and as the noble lady that I am, I accepted! What’s the big deal in that, I retorted back at him! Doggone it!

Those days, I used to be really stubborn and will not be waltzed over by any, or made a doormat of! I’d rather damn the consequences of whatever and just call the bluff of whoever! I was pretty young, wild, free and incredibly stupid! Hot and bone-headed! I told him to go on ahead and kill us all, aint no ways am I gonna get bamboozled into doing what I don’t wanna! I reiterated to him again to make my day, after he’d continued on with his tell-tale threat, flapping off his gums!

This didn’t augur quite well with my fellow traveling companions, who continually yelled at me, tugging at my arm to just say yes and save us all a trip to the land of no return! I rebuffed ’em, and this trucker dude cranked up the heat and turboed right along the way! He suddenly became our worst nightmare, the perfect storm and I thought to myself ‘however did I get so lucky hitching a ride with a loonie’?! This road trip was a total bust and I…… well; I goofed big time, like don’t I already know it! Oh Wow!

Any, who’s pretty familiar with northern routes will know that many a times, those roads tend to be really lonely, almost like a ghost town! You could go as far as 2km sometimes, with not a single motorist in sight! Needless to say, it was a thoroughfare and dude sped right on, like he was ‘Mark 9’ of the famed ‘Speed Racer’ Cartoon Series! That was like being on the Highway to Heaven and his truck was new, in perfect working condition!

Amidst the screaming, bickering girls and truck practically leaping and flying, I started getting really terrified and frantic, but I neither buckled nor gave myself away! My outlook was that of a very calm person, well in control of herself and one who was on top of things! The truth though was, I was a hot pot of mess, with raging and waging emotions within! I was boiling hot within with a mixture of fear, anger and rage! As time went by, cracks began to show under the well rehashed, impeccable facade I put on, and so, naturally; I stopped playing hard ball and told him I’d be his girlfriend! Immediately and as though a switch was flipped, he slowed down to the barest minimum and became really calm, driving with such gentility and I was like ‘What’s with this dude anyway, is he really for real?! Whatever have I gotten myself into now?!

With his right hand, he ran his fingers through my hair saying ‘Smart girl, you really are a toughie, spunky; just the way I like my girls and you did do the right thing’! Continuing, he said ‘rest assured, no one will be dying today; at least not by my hands and on my watch’! At that, I cringed and swore to myself that if ever I did get out alive and apiece, I’d NEVER hitch a ride with a total, complete stranger however long I lived! No matter how fly they appear or how dope their rides are, or even and especially; how desperate a situation am in to get from one location to the next! Oh no Jose! That is so NOT gonna happen again! Never again!

After that twisted encounter, all three of us were pretty tensed, not saying a word and just listening in on the music blaring from the truck’s stereo! We were willing that time would quickly go by and we’d arrive our destination and get away from our ‘abductor’?! He on the other hand was so engrossed in his driving activity, ensuring not to go above a certain speed limit, just to make good his promise of driving safely since I’d already became his ‘girlfriend’! And boy did he do a bang-up job too if i do say so myself! ‘Cooreepy’!

Sure enough, we arrived Ikorodu town and the other girls told me we should disembark from there! You’d probably think that at this juncture I’d do exactly that to escape from the trucker’s claws but no, I bluntly refused telling ’em I was still pretty much a very far distance away from home as he’d promised he’d drop us off at  the popular Ojota Bus Terminal! They scampered off, wishing me all the luck I was sure to be in dire need of! Some buddies those were! I mean with friends like ’em, who needs foes, right?! I continued on with him to Ojota, putting on a brave face, like I wasn’t scared! Deep down, I was praying silently!

We arrived Ojota Motor Park! He pulled over, stepped out the truck and helped get my luggage and then said the craziest thing….. ‘Did you REALLY think for a second that I’d kill us all’?! At that, he bursted out laughing, saying he was just catching his fun at our expense and that he infact had a swell time! ‘Perhaps we can do this again’?! He asked, to which I smiled sweetly and responded ‘Not on your life dude and not in this lifetime! Never again’! He handed over my luggage, got back into his truck amidst laughter and zoomed right off, never to be again seen or heard from again! Now that, was a close call!

I got home in one piece, reunited with my folks and had me a merry little Christmas! I only squealed to my brothers ’bout my misadventure! My parents however, I totally kept in the dark! They’d have made a minced meat outta me if they knew I as much as dared to even just talk to a stranger, much less embark on several hours of journey, across states with one!  That woulda been really foolhardy as I’d never hear the last of it! So, better safe than sorry I figured and of course; I swore my brothers to secrecy not to breathe a word of what I’d just let ’em in on, to anyone especially mum and dad! That woulda been Ludacris, a death sentence!

Since then and till now, I DON’T hitch rides with strangers, nuh-uh! Who knows who I’d be riding with next, if I as much as gave it another go! The horror! Plus, am certainly NOT in no mood to find that out either! I mean, I’ve been there, done that; once bitten, a gazillion times over shy! That would be me alright! You bet!

Thanks so much for reading folks, and do ensure to have y’all a merry little Christmas and a very Happy and fulfilling ’15 in advance! Stay safe and mighty blessed! Remember also, that Jesus Christ is the reason for the season and don’t forget to show a little love to the less privileged and all those you come across this Yuletide season, in dire need! Love’s an action, far above and beyond mere words; so Jellybeans, let’s give of ourselves this magical season cause therein lies true fulfillment! My word! God bless and keep us all, Shalom! Mwah!

All images courtesy of http://www.google.com

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