Guest Post

Unholy!

Mimi Adebayo’s a girl’s girl, and pretty much a very huge deal…… HUMONGOUS! She’s a Master Storyteller and every inch an awesome writer! She churns out masterpieces, overflowing and greatly enriched with dialogues and conversations oh so eclectic, electrifying and mighty stimulating! Plus, the plots and characterization of her stories……tight, and am talking foolproof! Her stories are highly believable, true to life, and the suspense, twists and curveballs she creates with her masterpieces will leave you spellbound and wanting, nay; groveling for more! That’s mine Mimz, my ‘Liebster Award’ nominee …….witty, sweet, adorable, delightsome and very, VERY naughty; in a pretty snazzy and extremely cool way! She’s a saucy ‘lil minx, that one but I really do NOT mind and if you don’t either, as much as I do not; then I urge you on, to go look her up here and get an overdose of the Incredible, ‘Mimi. A.’! *winks*

Thank you so much my sweetness for coming two times through for me, you blew me away when you acquiesced to doing this and I do wish you all of the best in EVERY of your life’s endeavors! Keep keeping on gurl, the sky’s only but the beginning for ya! Love ya TONS! *hugs and cuddles*

Ada shifted uncomfortably in her seat as the Pastor spoke. She wondered why the man kept punctuating his sentences with fornication.

Forni-cation. Funny-cassion. Foni-cashun.

The word turned around in her head. This was her fourth Sunday attending the church and the man’s sermons seemed to revolve around that topic. Like it was the only sin that riddled the ‘body of Christ’.

“When you go to a brother’s house at night, don’t you know you’re inviting sin? Inviting forni-cation?” the Pastor yelled.

Ada wanted to tell him that even when you went in the afternoon, when the sun was at its peak, fornication was always invited. Sometimes it came uninvited, unbidden, unannounced.

She could testify to that. She let her eyes stray to the choir stand, it was somewhere she’d been avoiding since the Pastor started screaming ‘funny-cassion’. But now as she dared look, she moistened her lips as the memories bombarded her.

It was supposed to be an interview, an opportunity to know more about the choir, to know how well she could sing, to know how motivated she was to join the choir.

It was her friend Nene, who was in the choir who had suggested that she join. She had even introduced her to the Music Director.

“It would help you develop your voice and work for God,” Nene said with excitement.

Nene was very good at convincing people so she had stood no chance when the girl had embarked on a join-the-choir crusade.

He had invited her to his house;

“I normally interview prospective choir members,” he said with an easy smile which made his face look better.

He had told her to come by 2pm on Saturday because he had rehearsals by 5pm that evening.

As she looked at him now, sitting in the front row, eyes fixed intently on the Pastor, she wondered how someone could be so ugly and yet so beautiful.

She recalled the hardness; of his chest and in his groin and she felt her body tingle.

She had gone to his house that day with all intentions to join the choir. She’d met him fully clothed and welcoming and she remembered thinking how his eyes were too close together. How he was too lanky with a tiny waist. She remembered thinking that God had probably compensated him for his looks by giving him the voice of a nightingale.

He had offered her a drink- Coke, if you please. Just to relax, before we get into business.

One hour went by and they had still not ventured into talking ‘business ‘, the more Ada tried to steer the conversation towards the choir, the more he pretended not to notice.

“Tell me about your family. How many siblings do you have?”

She wondered what her family had to do with her singing capacity.

And then he had gotten up at a point and turned on the stereo.

“Music, good for the soul.” he said.

He forgot to add for the body too.

It had happened in a flash, like she saw in the movies; one moment they had been sitting on the rugged floor, talking about mundane things, non-sexual or romantic things, and then the next his mouth had covered hers, abruptly silencing her.

That was what thrilled her, the fact that he didn’t ask permission, that he took without asking.

The Pastor was right; stolen bread was indeed sweet.

At first she didn’t think, she couldn’t. He was kissing her senseless. His tongue playing with hers in a way she had never, never imagined.

And when she eventually began to gather her wits, he stopped.

She was breathless. His kiss had done that to her. She shut her eyes like a virgin, unsure and ashamed of herself. Ashamed that she had let him. And yet not wanting the moment to end.

And like he’d read her thoughts, he leaned in for another kiss. This time she welcomed him.

By the time his hands strolled to her green blouse and fumbled with her buttons, she knew she had no willpower to stop him.

And when he entered her, she screamed Jesus first, then his name, all in one breath.

Odogwu!

Thankfully the stereo was loudly blasting Frank Edwards ‘Thank God I Made It’.

Ada remembered thinking how ironic it was that they’d made love with that song playing in the background.

By the time they lay spent on the red rug, Ada imagined that the rug smelled of sex, of sin.

The next time she really looked at him, she saw not his ugliness, but a certain beauty. A beauty that came from giving pleasure.

And she wondered again, whether this was how the Spirit led people.

After having mind-blowing sex with the man and screaming his name in ecstasy, they would conclude that they were being led to marry him.

It had to be blasphemy; it had to be sin to get such fulfilment from sex. No wonder God had restricted it to marriage.

“So, did I pass the interview?” she turned to him, hoping he had enjoyed it as much as she had. She wasn’t an expert, not like him anyway considering that the number of lovers she’d had could be counted on just one hand.

He nuzzled her earlobe, tickling her.

By the time they went for the second round, Ada was convinced she would marry him. After all, a good marriage was sustained by a great sex life. If only she could have this for the rest of her life; she knew she would worship him. Worship at the altar of his little god- which was actually quite big.

And every night – and day maybe – he would take her to heaven.

“So what are we now?” she whispered, her feet curling into his.

“One,” he replied, kissing her again.

She chuckled to herself as she looked at him with his bushy eyebrows, looking so prim, proper and holy in his white plaid shirt.

She planned to visit him after service today, later this evening. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since their encounter a week ago.

She had to convince him that they were just right together.

Her attention was jerked back to the service as the Pastor said he had an announcement to make.

“There’s a wedding in our church. Pra-ise da Lord!”

She joined in the resounding hallelujah.

“Two of our members are tying the knot in a few months. They just informed me. Let us rejoice with Brother Odogwu, our able Music director, a man after my heart. He will be getting married to Sister Mariam. Please step forward both of you.”

As both parties approached the altar, Brother Odogwu beaming with pride and Sister Mariam, a shy petite woman clad in a sweeping skirt; there was a commotion at the back of the church.

It seemed a sister had just fainted or fallen under the anointing; no one could tell for sure.

Advertisements
Standard

65 thoughts on “Unholy!

  1. Hee hee hee! Classic… Lovely one here… Mimi, nice tale. See as you take scatter church with this your tale… Hmmm. Let the heavens save us from some of these our brothers and sisters … Odogwu! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Lol Sued, no mind me jare. Mischief things. Hehehe.
      Thanks a lot for la compliment though.

      And dear Yemz, thank you for this wonderful opportunity. I’m more than grateful and I appreciate you loadz!

      This mini-bio here though, I think I’d adopt it as mine. It’s beautiful. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • Aw! You needn’t adopt it sweets, its ALL you and thou knowest it! You always turn up impeccably well concocted tales, all of the time and the icing on the pudding for me are those snazzy convos! I live and breathe ’em! You oughta give film scripting a go Mimz, you’ve more than got so much more than what it takes to make it work with your wits, eloquence, charm, charisma, imaginative prowess and highly, very thorough articulation! Think ’bout it! 😉💟

        Thank YOU Cupcakes, you rock too damn much….D-Dang! 😂

        Liked by 1 person

    • I say a big Amen to that word of prayer Su’eddie, and may He save sisters too from themselves, especially ones who walk into the Lion’s den with eyes wide-opened and not expecting to get ‘bitten’! The horror! 😒

      Thanks for reading Sir, Mimi always spins spectacular yarns that makes such ‘funtastic’ reads! 😉

      Like

      • You’re such a class act Su’eddie, I swear it! 😨

        Tyson for how na? 😒

        Mimi’s a sweet, very chic darl, she doesn’t roll like that, at least; not unless you’re spoiling for a fight! Hmph! 😈

        Liked by 1 person

      • Na so… My own Mimi? Hmmm… Mimi is my direct sibling and we have seen her class act… Walahi… if not that we will spoil our family name, I will have said some other things. For the sake of Caleb, I will say no more 🙂 …

        Ah… Spoil? I never spoil o… So, I can’t fit fight.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. ”It seemed a sister had just fainted or fallen under the anointing; no one could tell for sure.”

    I think in these days of odogwu-like brothers around town, it is possible to have both a fainting and anointing happen at the same time ☺. Story well told Mimi.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hahaha Honeycomb, at all, at all; na hin bad pass o, so i say falling under the ‘anointing’ especially as brought on by a brother, with a face only a mother would adore, but is still yet a ‘Super-Stud’, going by Ada’s account and ‘testimony’, plus passing out altogether are indeed possible! 😈😂

      Thank you soooo much for being here Zee, you’re simply the best, yes you art! Mwaah! 😙👭❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hahaha. Very very possible Zik. I do agree.

    And Sued, you’d like more fainting, yes?

    Smh. I shall pray for you soon, and you’d be the one fainting under the anointing. 😀

    Thanks a lot Zik, for the lovely comment. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Following the “one-on-one Pentecost” at the upper room, Odogwu’s floor, anointing is expected to flow.

    So long the grace is abundant, and Bro Odogwu’s proclivity for do-re-mi (as a capable and talented choir master) is still intact, many tenor, alto and soprano singers/wannabes in skirt will still quake and fall like dominoes.

    Really crisp piece Mimi. Great telling.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Duh! More sisters as how ngwa? Hian! 😠

    Truth be told though, I’d expected a ‘bodycount’ in the wake of that annoucement! I didnt think Ada was the only one that fell prey of the smooth guy that knows just what strings to pull at, to get his conquests singing and belting out the most melodious of tunes! Bad guy ‘P’, choi! 😈😬😂

    Like

  6. Touche Joe, succinctly put! 😂

    That dude’s really sly! Imagine cozying on the rug one moment, indulging in a very unmeaningful convo cum ‘interview’, that had nothing; zilch to do with a person’s ability to sing; and the next minute, the interviewer’s gotten the entire length of his tongue down the applicant’s throat?! Neat!🙈😰😄

    Thanks for stopping by Joe, rock on! ✌😉

    Like

  7. Yemie your comments are hilarious! Jesus! “…and the next minute, the interviewer’s gotten the entire length of his tongue down the applicant’s throat?! Neat!”

    Well, Bro Odogwu has certainly got it in him. Smooth dude!

    Thanks for the apt comment Joe. I’m glad you enjoyed this 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehehehe! You inspired it jare Sweetim! I mean, where does a chikala of Ada’s spec, get off, playing right into the hands of a guy like Odogwu; who she surmises is ugly as sin?! 😲

      Dat one na strong sontin o, for ‘realziz’!😂

      Thanks Sweets, you do great always! 💟👏😉

      Like

  8. This is so beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Oh, beariful! Mimi can write jor. She took the story of naivety, leadership immaturity, sexuality, double standards, pulpit guesswork and daydreaming to a brilliant height. Calm, assured descriptions, humourous and sarcastic the way I love it.

    Thanks Yemie for gathering literary giants here for sweet weekly intercourses. Thanks Mimi for entertaining me, and for reminding me of the importance of working on my kissing skills. (A girl once said that my kisses look like sucking udara. It’s been long and she said she was joking but there’s no harm in perfecting your lipsial abilities).

    Mimi, you have won a fan in me, for, ever!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hahaha! Kingsley are you for real though?! Class act! 😂

      Thanks for looking in and choosing to roll with Mimi, you shan’t be disappointed! Her writes are right up your alley and you’d have a fantastic time just checking out her space! My word! Thanks Sweets, na U biko! 👊😃

      Like

    • Wow! I’m overwhelmed Hard Voices! Your name though, i was thinking of calling you ‘Hard’ but i thought it’ll sound a bit Odogwu-like. Hehehehe. I’m so thankful you read this and took out time to comment. Thank you so much! As for your lipsial abilities, maybe we should talk to Odogwu as to how he does it? But methinks there’s been some improvement though. Lol! Don’t mind mischievous lil me. Its Yemz who’s teaching me. Lmao!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Hard indeed! Hahahahahaha! And am supposedly the mischievous one abi?! *raised eyebrow*

        Anyhow, nothing spoil sha! Despicable you Mimz, and well, clueless me! I’m as innocent as they come, too dang innocent! Sue me…….NOT! ROTFLMAO!

        Liked by 1 person

    • Bingo! Bro Odogwu’s a smooth criminal and the part where a hopeful sister’s mood dramatically went from the Seventh Heaven and then straight off to Hell, got me reeling! So much for her dream of becoming wifey! Wishful thinking! LMAO!

      Thanks Swag, I ‘ppreciate your being here! One luv! LOL

      Like

      • ..Nice one from Mimis Magnum. Lady sure does know how to shoot…About time female folks knew that sex and marriage do not usually add up most times. Lotta dudes out there are just predatory sex fiends…It is just a game with no strings attached for most dudes…Unfortunately, the ladies keep falling for the oldest trick in the book…

        Liked by 2 people

      • She’s really spectacular and an awesome storyteller too I must confess! Mimz really does know what time it is and she does it for me every time! She’s my ‘IT’ gurl! LOL

        Females are very emotional beings, I guess we’ve been wired that way that more often than not, we lose sight of our realities and choose rather to keep our heads buried in the sands, slacking on to ‘reprehensibility’! While a full-blooded alpha male can effortlessly decipher between sex and love-making, we can’t! Its just what it is…..CRAP! Psst! LMAO!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks Swag! I appreciate you for dropping by. Well, hopefully them ladies would learn soon. However I do agree with Yemz, females are emotional beings, we’re wired that way. Thanks again ma’am Yemie for this amazing opportunity. You sure got some lovely readers on this space. Lol! *hugs*

        Liked by 2 people

      • I do oooo…You have already besmirched her krystal loveliness with your mischief stained fingers…I do not want anything happening to Mimi, the next big thing on blogosphere….

        Liked by 1 person

    • Ahhh! Wetin i do ooooo?????……..Just telling her to be careful so the krystal doesn’t break.. After the cool long draught of literary mead I drank from your glittering vessel, i do not want anything to happen to you niii…I am on your side my sister…A guardian angel of a sort….

      Liked by 1 person

  9. D'Dream says:

    Hehehehe. Brother odogwu is a classic description that’s yet to be articulately defined. Heavens know how many body counts to appear.
    Sis ada had better fall under the anointing too. ooooo😀😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • ‘A classic description that’s yet to be articulately defined you say D’Dream?! How ’bout ‘Holy Player’ then?! Is that ‘articulately descriptive’ enough for you?! 😈😆

      Plus, it looks like you missed it…who exactly did you think fainted abi fell under the ‘anointing’ at the back of the Church ehn?! 😦I’ll betcha that was our one and very dear Sister Ada! 😂😂😂

      Thank you so much for digging up this treasure of a written work from the archives D’Dream! I suggest you visit Mimi’s site for more interesting reads that’d get your ribs cracking! Shalom my brethren! 😂😂😂

      Like

      • D'Dream says:

        The end of thy epistle crack me up, hehehe. ‘Shalom my brethren’.
        Don’t mind me, I just like to chook eyes everywhere and anywhere – a rather unusual gift,😀😀😀. Sister Ada sowi ooo,iyaff entered one way one chance with bro odogwu sege!😀😀.

        Liked by 1 person

      • ‘Shalom my Brethren’…that’s just me being, well…me?! 😆

        Go on ahead and look up as many tales as you see to find D’Dream! So long as you’re having fun….its all that matters! Thanks again, you too much! 😊😄

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s